That's Show Biz
by westpoints
Summary: [complete] A dialogue between two rather unlikely people. I have officially gone insane. Read inside and rejoice at my craziness.


I was taking a break from finishing up "The Curtain Call," which I'm thinking of renaming. See my Profile for deatils on it.

Anyway, I was watching the Phantom of the Opera, which will be in "The Curtain Call," when this suddenly popped into my head. Yes, you _are_ allowed to call me insane. And I don't mean to write dialogue only! It just...comes out that way.

Disclaimer: Not mine

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"Oh my God, Chad, your best friend was in the winter musicale, the _least_ you could do is pretend to be civil when I walk up."

"Sorry, Ice Princess, I didn't want to offend you by looking you in the eyes and being _nice_."

"Why am I called Ice Princess?"

"Well, you _are­—_"

"Why not Ice Queen?"

"I don't believe you."

"What?"

"That you're _proud_ of that name."

"_Not_ Princess! And besides, it's better than Mountain Lion."

"How'd you find out about that?"

"Oh. A very large and egotistical bird told me."

"Was his name Troy Bolton?"

"Mm. You have _amazing_ skills of deduction."

"Well, it's true."

"I know. I just don't like being compared to large felines. Reminds me of _Cats_. I hate that musicale."

"_Cats_?"

"The one where people prance around wearing ugly catsuits? Oh come on, you knew who Michael Crawford was, you should be able to figure out what _Cats_ is about."

"Did a large, egotistical bird tell you about that, too?"

"No, a pterodactyl did."

"You speak that language? Oh wait. You _are_ one."

"I don't see what Taylor sees in you."

"I do."

"Then again, I don't see what you see in Taylor McKessie, either."

"Well...she's smart."

"Exactly."

"And _nice_, and _caring_, and _considerate_, and—"

"A complete snobbish bore."

"Hello kettle, this is the pot. You're black!"

"That was clever! I'm so proud of you."

"Why are we even talking?"

"Because you want to pet the Mountain Lion, you idiot."

"Nope, no petting for me. Zeke petted and got bit."

"Zeke offered me good cookies and not much else."

"So that's why you broke his heart."

"That's show biz."

"You people use that like it's an excuse. Like you can just do anything you want and call it show biz."

"Wrong."

"Really."

"Well, we can't dump chili fries on the outfits of people with much better fashion sense."

"Okay, you can do anything besides ruin Sharpay Evans's clothes and pass it off as show biz."

"Yeah, you got it. You should tryout in the spring. We have lots of supporting roles."

"What if I want to be the star?"

"You're no Michael Crawford."

"Are you never going to forget that?"

"Don't count on it."

"You're sadistic, you know that?"

"First, let me congratulate you on displaying signs of intelligence _twice_ today. Sadistic! You know that that means! And second, I know."

"There's no winning."

"Not against me. Pet, Chad, you know you want to."

"No."

"Masochist."

"What?"

"It means you like to torture yourself."

"Sharpay, Troy will never, ever like you."

"What makes you think this is about Troy?"

"Everyone can see that you got it bad for him."

"Everyone forgets that I'm an actress. And you didn't answer the question."

"Look, I'm...flattered...and all that jazz, but I have a girlfriend, and I'm not going to pretend to be Troy for you."

"You just said 'all that jazz.' You _are_ a musicale kid."

"I'd prefer the cereal boxes, thank you."

"And besides, I'm not interested in Troy anymore. He's so...sticky."

"I see what you mean."

"You have horrible sarcasm skills. He's just. Golden Boy."

"He's my best friend."

"I know. I'm so sorry."

"That's not fair."

"What's not fair is that you just begged off a hot make-out with me because you have a 'girlfriend.'"

"Did you just use air quotes?"

"I'm a drama kid, I'm allowed to use them."

"Uh huh. And Taylor is very nice, and I am not a cheater."

"Much."

"What?"

"What?"

"You speak in subtle tones, Miss Evans, and I don't like it."

"Well then. I suppose you are completely enamored...that means charmed...with Taylor. Pity."

"You say that like you mean it."

"I'm an _actress_, Danforth."

"So how do we know if you're acting or not?"

"You have to get to know me. Really. Really well."

"Oh, but since you left me so deprived of knowing you at all..."

"You deprived yourself. God, you're so predictable, Danforth."

"But..."

"You've lost the chance. I'm going to go cry in a corner now. You just broke _my_ heart, Chad."

"But..."

"And _that_ is show biz."

-end-

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Yes, that made no sense, and was slightly OOC. I'm sorry.

Before you judge, think how AWESOME Chad/Sharpay would be.

But you should review anyway. Flames will be accepted with the graciousness of a Nazi.


End file.
